#he has one sided beef with derek

[hikiclawd]

I have a skyhereos oc... if you care.. :]

His name is Bleu/Bluebelle it's in the works so be nice to me

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Thoughts on this as a Sterek AU?:

The vibe of the children librarian is definitely stiles but I think it would be cute if Derek was the children librarian so instead we have this:

Stiles wanted to work with children like his mother did, and the library was the best place. It had become his safe refuge during his mother’s sickness and he hoped to make it a safe place for other children. But he was also hired to keep track of the more magical books.

Derek has hired by the sweet old lady, Ms Beatrice, who ran the beacon hills library. Derek was pretty sure she was immortal. She took one look at him and decided to ignore all the gossip surrounding his name. He was put to work on the front desk because Ms Beatrice thought that would help the rumours and force Derek to interact with people. But also as a werewolf he would how to direct other supernaturals on what research they would need.

When stiles was hired Derek was definitely curious. As there was this bright eyed human who had the softest voice when working with children, but could turn around and insult you with the most venom Derek had ever heard. Stiles wore the most outlandish outfits but somehow looked absolutely ethereal in them. Not to mention seeing the stunning man working with children with his neck on display was ruining Derek’s control of his wolf. Beatrice thinks this this is completely hilarious.

Stiles knows how he acts compared to the other librarians, where he worked. Especially Derek hale, who brightest outfit that stiles had seen him wear, was a medium grey shirt. Not that he looked bad in it. Stiles had struck up a conversation with him a few times, but Derek alway responded with one or two word answers before he turned away. Most people would be off put by this but not Stiles.

Stiles had seen the way that Derek would interact with the quieter kids who didn’t feel comfortable enough around Stiles. With his small smile and bunny teeth, Stiles was so completely over his head. He also saw how Derek would curl in on himself when parents rushed their children away from him with nasty glares - or how his eyes would go blank when a women came on to strong. Stiles was an observer and knew he could be overbearing but there was something about Derek that made it so he couldn’t stay away.

Derek never knew how to answer stiles when he tried to make small talk. His tongue got tied standing so close to stiles in a small area; where all he could smell was ink,snow,home,lighting cinnamon, mate that made his chest hurt. Derek fleas from their conversations before he could embarrass himself by saying something like “hey, I’m a werewolf and I’m pretty sure you’re my mate do you want to get married”

This comes to head when there is an attack on the library, some dumbass tried to get to the magical section and summons a demon (this is beacon hills what did you think would happen). Derek is badly injured after saving Stiles and some of the kids there. Stiles manages to exorcise the demon despite being in shock that his coworker derek hale is Derek Hale, with a capital W. So Stiles, being Stiles decides to big him back to his apartment and heal him with his spark.

(Fuck yeah, getting to the good stuff). Derek wakes up the next morning, just wrapped in Stiles scent, warm and the most well rested he’s been since he was 16. Derek hears stiles in the kitchen and is prepared for judgement, disgust, fear and the worst reaction. Cue his surprise when stiles brings him a tray stacked full of food with a worried look on his face. His wolf goes insane at the sight of his mate courting him and Derek breaks.

Stiles was beside himself when Derek wasn’t waking up. He wasn’t sure how long it takes and werewolf, Alpha werewolf??? To heal from injuries given by a demon. So he made pancakes, everyone loves pancakes right?? He also made hash browns, bacon, eggs and waffles but that wasn’t important. He stacked the tray with as much food as he could carry and hoped Derek would wake up soon. So sue him if he was a little shocked to see Derek, sitting up (Awake) looking at him like Stiles was the greatest thing to happen to the earth since Star Wars.

The two of them end up talking (over each other in the beginning, but a+ for that communication)

“I’m a werewolf / spark”

“WHAT”

Once they both calm down they actually manage to have a conversation and Derek confesses that he was too scent drunk on stiles to have a conversation and stay in control. This makes stiles blush bright red and Derek is obsessed. He really wants to know how far down the blush goes. And it that moment, Derek just upfront asks to court stiles.

Stiles is an absolute gay mess right about now. He tries to tell Derek that he shouldn’t feel obligated to “reward” him after Stiles saved his life. Completely missing the point. Derek sees how insecure Stiles is in this moment and lays everything out on the table.

“No stiles, you’re my mate”

“Oh, Oh”

“Yeah, so please let me court you, let me take care of you.”

Stiles of course says yes!! They court for a week and a half before stiles breaks and demands that Derek has his wicked way with him. So Derek does.

Repeatedly.

The next morning they are officially a couple. Beatrice is so proud. She goes around beacon hills telling everyone that she single handedly got them together. She also goes around telling everyone that she is super excited to be a grandmother.

The sheriff is not amused.

Stiles and Derek get married three years later. Beatrice walks Derek down the aisle. She also tells an embarrassing story of the time when Derek got jealous over a child who declared that they would steal Stiles away from him and stiles would marry them instead. She cries over “her children” getting married and reminds them she wants grandchild before she to old to play with them. She spends half the evening snipping back and forth with the sheriff.

When Beatrice retires, stiles and Derek become known as the heart sickening couple who runs the library.

Thanks for the ask!! This was super fun to right!

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Heyo! I was wondering if you knew many steter/sterek prison aus? I'm not well versed in ao3 filtering yet, thanks! 😊

Sure.

Those Hidden Places by Mimiminaj

(1/1 I 18,799 I Explicit I Sterek)

He doesn’t belong here.

It’s the first thought that crosses Derek’s mind as he watches the new inmates spill into the cafeteria. The kid stays close to the wall, eyes scanning all the exits and skimming over the tables. If he’s trying to get a barring for his surroundings he’s doing a shit job of it, something made completely evident as Lewis shoulders him from behind and the kid almost jumps to flatten himself against the wall.

Or

Stiles is the new inmate at Derek's prison. He really didn't expect to fall in love with the mouthy little brat.

Sixteen Years In Hell by gaydestiny

(7/7 I 23,914 I Explicit I Sterek)

So this was finally it. He was being escorted by an armed guard through a pair of double doors and into actual prison. Where he would be sharing living quarters with convicted killers, probably. Stiles may have been a bit of a badass in his own right, but he was still just a 16 year old kid, he used to be an honor student for fuck's sake, how was he supposed to deal with this?

Never Cage A Rabid Wolf by tty9

(26/26 I 49,734 I Explicit I Sterek)

Stiles is sent to prison, and gets assigned to a cell with-

“Hale?!” Scott gasped as his gaze followed Stiles’s. “You got Derek Hale?! Oh boy, man, good luck with that buddy, that guy is a psycho!” His voice had become worryingly high pitched. Stiles’s heart started thumping in his chest, and he swore it actually skipped a beat when Hale looked up at them, his eyes searing into Stiles’s who quickly dropped his head. His beef (or was it pork?) slop suddenly looked very interesting.

Could Frame Thy Mortal by orphan_account

(15/15 I 42,271 I Explicit I Steter)

"It’s normal. Spending every waking second watching Hale is normal. In many ways, Hale is his whole universe: tracking his movements, waiting for what he does next, wondering what he’s thinking. The only outside stimulation he gets otherwise is the shower visits, and even then it’s only when Chris is the one taking him that he gets any engagement. 

Stiles knows Hale like he knows the water pipe. The sixty two bars that line the side of their cage. Like the minute of cold water that hits Stiles’ skin before the heat finally comes in the shower block. "

Held in an Argent facility, never knowing who he can trust, Stiles pays for his survival with the only currency he has.

[bisaster-energy]

I have to know what nut allergy means 🤲🏻

god i had forgotten about this one til u tagged me💀i got the idea cos of some tiktok someone made about putting ghost pepper in their food to catch whichever coworker was stealing their food and ppl in the notes were freaking out cos "wHAt iF sOMeOnE iS ALlErGiC" me and my friend luke were like "god how funny would it be if you just went in someone's fridge drank all their milk and shit yourself cos ur lactose intolerant and then blame them for trying to poison u that logic is so crazy...what if it was a destiel au"

it's really just a silly hospital au i never got around to finishing it's cringy and basic but it's funny to me so i kept it

so cas is a doctor ofc i have to reward dean somehow.

he's neurosurgeon because i did watch grey's anatomy and dr. sexy being a parody of derek shepherd who's played by patrick dempsey who also played a guy named cass who was in a polyamory with jensen ackle's character and marilyn monroe. i had to put it in

i couldnt decide if i wanted dean to be a doctor too or a nurse but i know i wanted him in peds

basically it's one sided enemies to lovers with dean having beef with cas for no reason (he's hot and this frustrates dean to no end). meanwhile cas has a crush bigger than texas on that man

maybe a competitive aspect too like derek and burke had but less animosity. i try to lean into the soap opera aspect of it as if they're in a medical drama more than a REAL HOSPITAL because it's easier than doing extensive research <3

so maybe dean is a bit more of an asshole to cas than strictly necessary and no one else gets why. cas essentially gives up on trying to have a normal conversation w/dean and thinks he really hates him so he settles to only talk to him in a professional capacity so he wont encroach on his space more than he has to

dean takes this personally. i love misunderstandings

etc etc it comes to a head when maybe something happens that really sets dean off about cas (i haven't figured what yet) and so to get back at him he nabs a cookie from his lunch (cas already established that anyone can indulge in them but dean missed the memo ig)

anyways ruh roh! his dumbass is allergic to one of the ingredients cos it came into contact with walnuts or smth idk

dean's embarrassed as hell and cas finds him all swollen and fucked up and i haven't gotten past this part but yeah i just wanted cas to stab dean with an epi-pen really

overall very mid and silly and dumb but here's an excerpt anyway:

The neurosurgeon is, in Dean's humble (but also right) opinion, the only one worthy of the term Asshole around here, with a capital A.

Well, not the only one. But still.

And it's not like Dean didn't try to get to know him! New doctor shows up, windswept hair tousled to perfection, lab coat flaring behind him like some sort of superhero, gaze focused and intense, and eyes so so blue-

Ahem. Of course Dean is going to be intrigued he's a human being! It's not like Castiel was interested anyway. Barely said three words to Dean before rushing off somewhere else, probably to bless some other coworker with his angelic ass sculpted by god. Dean tried a few times after that and still ended up with nothing more than stilted small talk. Dude made talking to a brick wall seem like a cake walk. There was always something going on that had to cut their conversations short, and Dean thought Cas was just a shy guy at first, nothing wrong with that. But he's seen Dr. Novak easily chat with other staff for longer than two (painfully awkward) minutes. Especially Masters. God that snake just loves to hang off Novak, like that's her job instead of being a damn nurse. Even Balthazar, their own personal sleazeball of an anesthesiologist, allegedly manages to drag the uptight doctor out from time to time.

Not that Dean has been stalking them or anything. He just heard it through the grapevine like every other godforsaken rumor at this high school of a hospital. And if the grapevine happened to just be Balthazar himself bragging about their nights out in the breakroom, well that's Dean's business.

"I still say you need to give him a chance, Dean," his mammoth of a brother insisted, brushing his mane out of his face. Seriously, dude, just get a haircut. "I don't get what your problem with him is. Castiel is great! A little awkward maybe, but it really adds to his charm." Dean rolls his eyes.

"Sammy, you do realize you sound like you're trying to get me to adopt a dog that's about to be sent to the pound? It didn't work when you were eight and it won't work now. And, for your information, I've given Cas plenty of chances to talk to me. He's the one with the issue. You should be selling him all this kumbaya bullshit. And don't you have some lawsuits to prevent?"

It's Sam's turn to roll his eyes. "Whatever, Dean. If you gave up on talking to him then why the hell do you call him by a nickname?" With another flip of his mop, his brother left Dean spluttering for a reasonable answer. Which there is, of course. But Sam's long gone by the time he manages a weak "Castiel is a mouthful, okay?" "I'll say," came an annoyingly sultry voice from behind. Without turning Dean lets out a sigh. "Can I help you, Masters?" He asks flatly, already resigning himself to an unpleasant encounter. "Oh, don't be like that, Dean," God, he can practically hear the obnoxious pout he knows she's wearing right now. "I thought we could bond over what a mouthful Clarence is!" That has him spinning around.

meg is cas' bestie she can't understand why he's hung up on dean but she supports his terrible terrible taste. and if she can manage to convince dean they're fucking in the meantime well. god forbid women do anything

the reason sam seems so invested is cos the hospital has a betting pool over if these 2 get together and when. bros tryna make bank

[sterekchub]

Derek gets cursed to have his wolf changed to different animals, all of them fat. First there’s werebear…not that big a change, but he still gets chubby, then werecow Derek, where he puts on quite a bit more weight, then werepig derek, when he gives in to the glutton and blows up…then finally…werewhale Derek?

At first he thinks it’s fine. Wolves are pack creatures and he admittedly doesn’t have much of a pack anymore so he figured it’s a blessing in disguise. Bear doesn’t sound bad. Tough, muscled grizzly bear, still has the fear-inducing strength and claws

And he doesn’t notice much at first. Maybe more muscular. Sleeps in a bit more. More of an appetite which he figures goes along with the increased bulk in his arms and thighs. Except…he can’t seem to shave anymore. Facial hair starts growing in, hair creeping up his happy tail and peppering his chest. He can trim it- but anytime he waxes or shaves it appears the next day.

Being typical Derek, he gets cursed and he says he’s fine and the pack sort of- back off. But a few months in and after Stiles hasn’t heard from in a week longer than usual, he heads over to Derek’s place.

Takes several long, loud knocks and the shouts of “I can hear your phone ringing! I know you’re home!”

Before Derek answers the door. Eyes still foggy from sleep, wearing a tank top that is rising over a furry potbelly…love handles just starting to creep over the sides of his boxers.

Stiles stammers for a bit before asking “were you asleep? It’s 2 in the afternoon?”

Derek shrugs. “I…ordered pizza then went to bed, not a crime to sleep in late.”

Stiles pretty quickly surmises from the tower of pizza boxes visible behind Derek and his constant yawning that he’s been sleeping for more than a day.

They do some research and Stiles does some food related tests…but they figure that’s the only change. Derek gets ravenous one day, eats a meal for 3-4 people then sleeps for a few days and wakes up just s bit thicker. (And maybe he’s got some cravings for honey and salmon all of c sudden..)

***

But- it’s easy to move on with life. At some pint- Stiles starts cooking for him and promises to watch Derek in his “hibernations” and they become a thing. He’s thicker around his middle and his thighs are more solid, beard hiding a hint of a second chin, but he still hadn’t gained more than 50lbs…and isn’t really concerned about trying to cut back or break the curse.

And then one day Stiles is in bed with Derek as he wakes up from a another food induced hibernation and is tuning his hands over Derek’s chest…which had been quite firm despite the belly he was growing, but now his pecs were clearly softening into moobs, starting to puff out and round out to sag down on his growing belly.

“Huh. Do you feel fatter?”

“That’s no way to say ‘good mooo-‘“ he breaks off when a sudden loud, guttural mooing noise comes out instead. “Fuck.”

“Huh.”

Derek starts gaining more rapidly. Ironically- as Stiles constantly points out- Derek has been eating his weight in beef, was drinking nothing but whole milk or milkshakes, and they had to go out and buy a second freezer for his ice cream stash.

His backside starts growing out further- giving him more and more of a pear shape (if you call them haunches one more time!) and Stiles jokes that if Derek ass gets any bigger he might have to brand it with “property of Stiles”

Not to be forgotten, his belly had vainly tried to keep up with his hips and ass- but was somehow surpassed in growth by his chest, which was staring to not only leak milk but started to give Derek backaches when he was standing for so long

(He would never admit it, but being on all fours on the bed, wide ass in the air, love handles being gripped by Stiles, belly and tits hanging to the ground, felt so, so right. Even if sometimes he did Moo during sex…)

***

And cow Derek is the slippery slope- it feels so good to have his belly full and Stiles milking him, even if part of him is humiliated by it, it doesn’t stop him from eagerly waiting the next meal Stiles has for him. And the weight….has made him much more sensitive all over and he can’t bring himself to be disappointed when he starts gaining more.

So the next stage takes Derek awhile to notice. He’s already been eating to excess, both on his own and with Stiles’ pushing and insistence.

It’s Stiles’ who realizes it. He had brought home a massive, 5lb cheesecake to satisfy Derek’s dairy cravings and instead of cutting a slice, Derek has started digging in with both hands, cramming frantic handfuls into his mouth one after another , cheesecake smeared all over his mouth. Doesn’t stop eating until the plate is empty and he’s licked it cleaning, sitting back with a self-satisfied belch.

“Such a fat pig, Derek.”

They both realize what he’s said and freeze. Derek shrugs. “Think we should invest in a bigger bed…and maybe another freezer.”

He stops caring what’s put in front of him. Stiles leaves out a tub of butter for some garlic rolls and finds Derek scooping it out with his fingers and shoving it into his mouth. (Stiles will tease him, food held inches away from him, telling him to be a good little pig and oink for it. Derek glares but the time of protest between less and less until he’s oinking and pleading for Stiles to just shut up and fill his belly already!

He’s greedy for anything he can eat, grunting and snorting as he eats with a frenzy, and as a result his figure changes again- now his belly catches up to the rest of him and starts threatening to reach his knees.

(At one point, when Derek is on his knees in bed, barely able to hold himself up, sweating from the exertion as his belly brushes against the bed, Stiles notices a curly tail sprouting. Calls Derek his “fat fucking hog” but they both know Derek is getting too fat for even that soon)

***

And one day Derek is too lazy or too fat to get out of bed…beginning the whale stage. Derek eats more than he’s awKe, barely has time to speaks with his feeding tube pumping him with calories. Just lets out the occasional low, loud belch and the groan of “Stiles…..more……” the only words he usually says now- and definitely his whale call.

[thegeminisage]

6, 13, 18?

HI BESTIE ty for asking sorry i didnt do it last night I Went To Bed. lets fuckin go

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

well, look, the obvious answer would be those j*hnlock truthers, and i do hope those tjlc people are having a wretched day rn wherever they are, but ACTUALLY im actually choosing atla for this just to say (sorry) i hate zu//kka SO MUCH. i hate it so much, it's unreal. i don't particularly have beef with the shippers necessarily but i think the concept is so fucking lame. it's a classic case of migratory slash fandom paired with a side of misogyny. the thought process goes like "zuko is rotting holes in my brain > want to ship him with someone > i don't want to ship him with a female character > the only one left is sokka." (even though suki is right there.) aang is out on the basis of being a baby and the rest of the gaang is girls. if you don't like zutara that's fine, but sokka/zuko is the SAME THING with less anger issues and less women. katara is kind of a devisive character to begin with (this is misogyny) but then one time i saw someone deride zutara for being "straight" to reason why shipping zuko with sokka was superior and i have never forgiven it. IT'S THE SAME SHIP. like HOW was this popular enough to PIT ZUKO/SOKKA/SUKI IN THE OT3 SEMIFINAL POLL? hello?? what were they doing there?? suki and zuko speak TWO LINES to one another! god! i guess that's better than using your ship to excuse hating suki but jesus christ it's so transparent just say you hate women and go

13. worst blorboficiation

i'm not doing this one or your other one for spn bc someone else sent in these exact numbers so i am choosing teen wolf. what im gonna say is so controversial but it's actually peter hale and it's not even fanon that did this IT'S CANON. i used to be a big peter fan and then it got completely ruined. ok so peter's whole thing, right, is that he's a deeply horrible person and that kate argent burned every molecule of humanity out of him during the hale fire. okay, got it. fuck yeah. that's rad. SO WHY THEN. IN THE SEASON 3 FLASHBACK EPISODE. WAS HE ACTING EXACTLY THE SAME AS HE DID AS AN ADULT. and this was the one thing that fanon was getting RIGHT. pre-fire versions of peter in fic were wildly different to post-fire versions BECAUSE THAT WAS THE IMPLICATION. peter works perfectly as a villain because his actions are reprehensible but his motives are justified which makes him COMPLEX and with one episode they RUINED IT. it speaks to a larger problem of jeff davis backtracking a lot of stuff that was said or implied in season 1 (such as kate preying on derek when he was underage) for censorship or what the fuck ever. now whenever i see peter in anything the only thing i wanna do is roll my eyes. they made him like him for ten whole minutes in 6A and that was the best it ever got again. sorry to peter hale fans.

18. it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

i won't list my teenwolf rarepair here, but that. oh, wait, actually, my ff13 rarepair. fang & lightning are WAY BETTER than fang & vanille. this on the basis of 1. hot. that section where you can do double commando. sexy. 2. everyone keeps calling vanille a kid and it weirds me out to ship her with someone who calls her that/thinks of her that way 3. lightning/fang is sort of the same dynamic as lightning/snow which i love in a NONROMANTIC way in that lightning is the straight man, very stoic, and fang is so flippant and casual about everything and so open with her emotions that it gets on her nerves until it becomes endearing. and theyre both quite In Charge generally so when lightning is like well every monster is one step closer to rescuing vanille they keep each other going in that same way, out of sheer stubbornness. anyway 10/10 ship dynamic i completely understand and respect fang/vanille fans but i wish fang/lightning got the same amt of attention

[ASK MEME]

[swiss-cheeze]

Tick-Tock, Hook’s Afraid of an Ordinary Clock! || Spencer Reid

Requested: YES/NO: gender neutral please! So my request. Y/n has been working at the BAU for a while, and never ever had feelings for Spencer but more for Derek. One night is spent at a hotel and Spencer gets wasted as all hell which the team found unusual. That’s really all! Do with that what you will! Smut is fine too! You can add your own personal touches if you wish. Also would love some fighting between Spencer and y/n

Gender: none, they/them.

Warnings: insults, alcohol, normal CM case talk, verbal fight dialogue taken from Hook (1991), crap music talk.

----

“Eat your heart out, you crinkled, wrinkled fat bag,” you mumbled under your breath as Spencer finished his rambling of some unknown subject. Spencer stiffened at your insult, as did the rest of the team. You had just gotten back from a pretty bad case involving a team of family annihilators and where sitting in the nearest bar; throughout the whole case Spencer had almost made it his mission to speak over you, correct you, flick things at you, ‘forget’ you’re there, bump into you and more. God it was so annoying, and now? Now you've had enough.

“That was very ill-mannered-” Spencer started.

“And you're a slug-eating worm,” you said with a little more force matter-of-factly, cutting off whatever it was Spencer was going to say.

“You can do better than that pretty boy!” Derek said quickly with a grin as he nudged Spencer; you almost pounced on that man for taking Spencer's side rather than yours; Derek had always taken your side.

“You're encouraging this?” Spencer questioned quickly.

“Show me your fastball, dust brain!” you started again, “you paunchy, sag-bottomed puke pot!” Spencer's eyes widened three times the size they normally would be as the rest of your table sat quiet and watched.

“Damn!” Emily said under her breath with a grin as her eyes darted between the two of you; it was like watching tennis.

“You're a very poor role model for your team, you know that right?” Spencer shook his as he took a mouthful of his drink before a sly grin overtook his face, “I bet you don't even have a fourth-grade reading level,” a few of your teammates let out a little blow of air.

“Hemorrhoidal sucknavel” you said quickly.

“Maybe a fifth-grade reading level.” Spencer said even quicker.

“Oil-dripping, beef-fart-sniffing bubble butt” you started to really get into it, leaning over the table a little with a smirk.

“Aye there we go (Y/n)!” Derek said quickly, now he was on your side? You looked to Hotch who was smiling thinking that maybe you had another on your side.

“Someone has a severe caca mouth, you know that?” Spencer cut off your gaze with his words, as if he was bored.

“You’re a fart factory. A slug-slime sack of rat guts and cat vomit, a cheesy scab picked pimple-squeezing finger bandage!” snickering came over the table; but you weren't done yet oh no, “a week-old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!” you grinned; many many words in that one insult. Spencer went to open his mouth but you cut him off, “you’re really just a substitute chemistry teacher” you winked.

“Come on Spence, hit (Y/n) back!” J.J. quickly intervened.

“Mung tongue” Spencer fired.

“Math tutor,”

“Pinhead,”

“Mother lover,” that one was a low blow on your end but you couldn't help yourself.

“Nearsighted gynecologist,” ouch Spence, Hotch snorted at that one.

“In your face, camelcake!” you shot back.

“In your rear, cow derrière!” of course Spencer came back even faster.

“Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig!” Emily snickered at yours.

“Lewd, crude bag of pre-chewed food!” Derek snickered at Spencers.

“Guys maybe settle down…” Hotch said softly, this was starting to get a little out of hand.

“You man! Stupid, stupid man!” That was all you could give back as your mind turned blank, forgetting every word in the dictionary.

“If I'm a maggot burger, why don't you just eat me?” Spencer shot back, “you zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farming, paramecium brain, munching on your own mucus, suffering from Spencer Reid envy!” laughter ensued as your face contorted to confusion.

“What the hell is a ‘paramecium’?” your voice held the question as Spencer pointed to you.

“I'll tell you what a paramecium is! You’re a paramecium!” everyone on your table stared at Spencer as he elaborated; “It's a one-celled critter with no brain that can't think!” and with that, your table cheered for Spencer as you sat sulking.

“Oh come on (Y/n), you should have known you would lose,” Derek said with a grin before following Spencer to the bar.

“He's drinking a lot tonight isn't he?” Emily questioned.

“Who, Derek?” J.J. guessed with a furrowed brow.

“No! Spencer!” Emily quickly concluded.

“He was a little harsh on (Y/n)” Hotch cut in quickly, “I’m just glad Dave and Garcia weren’t here to witness that,” you slammed your drink on the table and sent a glare to the three left at the table.

“I'm going home, i'll see everyone on monday,” you grumbled out before stalking off, your shoes made loud thunking sounds as they hit the wood flooring, your anger getting the best of you as you passed Spencer and Derek.

“Yo (Y/n) you getting a drink too?” Derek was about to order your normal drink until you slapped both Spencer and Derek on the back of the head.

“OW! What the hell-!” Spencer's back was to you but as he turned and saw you his anger melted into elation, “come back for round 2 (Y/n)?” Spencer questioned, the poor boy tried to act cool and lean against the bar but missed entirely and almost fell onto a rather burly looking gentleman. You huffed slightly as you turned to Derek.

“Make sure the substitute chem teacher gets home safe,” and with that you threw open the bar doors and walked your way home, it was only a block and you had gotten a ride with Emily anyway.

-

When you finally slumped home, chucked off your shoes and threw yourself onto your mattress you couldn't help but make yourself angrier with the new insults suddenly bubbling in your head.

“Who does that piss brain even think he is,” you mumbled into the air, “paramecium my ass…” you continued your grumbling into the atmosphere as you twisted and turned on the mattress before sleep finally engulfed you.

------

The work week started up again and before you knew it yourself and the team where needed in New Orleans because of a new range of sudden murders.

“Lets review please,” Hotch mumbled.

“The bodies cross gender and racial lines” Rossi started.

“The throat is slit with something very sharp but also clean, I get a funny feeling it isnt a kitchen knife though,” you mumbled as you looked at the photos closer trying to get a good angle on a printed piece of paper.

“Butcher?” Derek questioned, you shrugged.

“Could these be blitz attacks?” you heard Spencer scoff at your suggestion.

“If this was a blitz attack there would be remorse and blunt force trauma somewhere on the head,” Spencer said looking directly at you.

“Oh, i'm so sorry Doctor i didn't know my input was unwanted, let me just keep my thoughts to myself,”

“Guys,” J.J. sighed, “Garcia is going through the victims lives that we have already, I can talk to the family and see if there are any enemies?” Hotch nodded.

“Derek, I want you to join J.J. with the families. Rossi, Emily go to the M.E. together and have a look over the bodies and tox screens. (L/n), Reid and I will go to the police station and start on a geographical and victim board,” everyone nodded in agreement to what Hotch said. Except for Spencer. He just stared at you with dangerous eyes. You rolled yours in return before putting your headphones into your phone and playing music to drown out Spencer's overbearingly loud thoughts.

-

“Okay my lovelies, these first three victims all had the same job at the same court; they’re all a part of a Jury audience” Garcia explained as her fingers tapped on her keyboard through the phone.

“Maybe someone just got out of prison that was wrongly convicted and wanting revenge?” you questioned.

“Maybe, it would have to be something pretty big for them to come back,” Derek said, you nodded in agreement, “baby girl can you see if there are any people that may have been convicted by a jury with our victims in it?”

“Sure can sugar, PG out” the phone clicked off.

“Did you find anything from the M.E.?” Hotch turned to Rossi and Emily as he spoke.

“The pathologist said it was a clean cut without hesitation marks or remorse,” Rossi said.

“No drugs, no blunt force trauma,” Emily shrugged as she talked, “it wasn't a blitz.”

“Maybe planned?” you butted in.

“That’s what it seems like,” Hotch said, “Reid? Have you got anything? J.J.?” Hotch questioned as he looked to the respective people.

“The victims were killed in different areas but its places they frequented; house, bar, bar” Spencer started, “they’re all over the place is all, completely different areas,”

“Yeah, and the families weren’t much help either. One of the victims' families, uh, Emil Gosten? His family said they didn't want anything to do with the investigation because he's had previous death threats and calls and stuff,” J.J. shrugged as the room went quiet.

“Reid, (L/n) I know you two dont like each other but I need two of my sharpest minds to go back to the crime scenes,” Hotch sighed, you groaned but complied as you stalked off with Reid following shortly behind.

-

“Everything looks the exact same as it was left,” you sighed out as you placed a blanket back down on the couch. Spencer scanned the books on the shelf before pulling one out and starting to read it; completely ignoring you.

“Reid,” nothing.

“Reid.” again, nothing.

“Spencer,” nope.

“SPENCE”

“What!” he finally turned to you and answered.

“You couldn't give me some complacency and at least answer me when i talk to you?” you asked annoyed.

“Why would i?” Spencer asked with a bored tone as he placed the book back on the shelf, except he finally talked to you, “The victim is atheist, believes in the justice system…” he sighed and shrugged, “did Hotch just put us together to fuck with us?”

“Maybe,” you flopped onto the couch with a sigh as you rest your head on the backrest. That was until something caught your eye, “Oi genius!” you called out, Spencer came to your side as you pointed to the roof; there, above your heads was a piece of paper taped to the ceiling, “you’re taller than me,” you said quickly as you got up and started moving the couch.

“Woah what- what’re you doing?” Spencer jumped back slightly as you pushed the couch backwards.

“Well we’re going to push this back and then put a chair down for you to stand on so you can reach that note because it can possibly help us get to the unsub,”

“What why me?” Spencer questioned as he helped you push the couch back.

“You’re taller than me and have longer arms,” you walked over to the dining table and came back with a chair, Spencer was reluctant at first but eventually stood on the chair and plucked down the taped note; letting out a breath as he finally stood on the ground again. You plucked the note from Spencer's hand and opened it.

“A music note?” Spencer mumbled.

“Something like that,” you mumbled back, “see it's in the second to bottom gap,” you pointed to the gap to show where it was, as if Spencer couldn't see it already, “um, it would sound something like...um, dmm” you vibrate your voice a little to help Spencer understand, he nodded, “the only problem is there isn’t any clef; normally with music you have a treble clef, alto clef or bass clef. They basically determine what instrument can be played and how the notes are determined” Spencer looked genuinely interested while you explained your thinking, “this...its a singular note, maybe there’s more around?” you looked around the room and tried to desifre if there were any opened drawers or cupboards.

“Maybe there’s another one at the other location?” Spencer questioned, you grinned.

“It might be the unsubs calling card; ‘hey, this is my kill’ type thing!” and with that, you made a break in the case.

-

Spencer called the rest of the team about the break as Hotch allowed the two of you to go to the other victims houses and search for more music notes; low and behold you now had 3 music notes placed under the corresponding victim heads.

“You keep staring at that board as if it's going to give you answers,” Derek said with a grin as he walked into the room; the rest of the team had been called out to another dead body.

“Hmm? Oh I just…” you shrugged, “i just get this feeling about the notes; they have to sound something but we just don't know what yet” before Derek could answer you the shrill of the phone went off.

“(Y/n)?” it was Spencer on loudspeaker; he never called you by your first name.

“Yeah what's up Reid?” you called back.

“We found another note; the round part is under the last line with the stem going up to the second line at the top,” you nodded in response (not that Spencer could see you) as you drew the note on a piece of paper with a sharpener and placed it on the victim board.

“Anything else? A clef at all anywhere?” you asked.

“Um i'm not- i don't think so?” it sounded like Spencer was shuffling around a few things to get a better look, “we have another piece of paper!” Spencer called out, moments later you got a photo on your phone. Sure enough there was a treble clef.

“Spence get everyone back here; i know what the notes mean”

-

“Our unsub is using something called the Dies Irae,” you played the first few notes on your phone over youtube, “you've all heard this song over time just not exactly in an orchestra setting; Star Wars, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Corpse Bride, Sweeney Todd, The Shining, The Exorcist and many many more,” you played a few other videos of the notes from a few of the movies as everyone nodded.

“I can hear it,” J.J. mumbled.

“Same,” that was Emily.

“Right, so...it was originally used with catholic’s; they used the music in their Requiem services-”

“Requiem services are basically putting the dead to rest,” Spencer cut in quickly so the team could understand.

“Yeah, it's basically a song for the dead to stay dead in a way? I think our unsub is using the Sweeney Todd method; killing his victims with a razor. One slice across the neck while in a private area except this dude isn't a cannibal” you grinned at the remembrance of the film.

“Cannibal?” Derek and Emily questioned.

“In the movie Sweeney Todd is a barber, he comes back for revenge on the man who stole his wife and child and kills people in his barber shop which is also above a pie shop owned by a woman named Mrs Lovett; when Sweeney starts killing they come together in order to bring customers back to Mrs Lovett's pie shop. Because it's set in 1785 meat was expensive so instead they used the dead people as meat to sell to customers” you realised how long winded that explanation was and apologized, “sorry that was..i think our unsub is a barber” was your final statement. Hotch nodded and moved to press a button on the phone in the middle of the table, but the phone started ringing instead.

“Garcia?”

“I think i found our unsub; Chris Gevette, he filed for divorce after he gave evidence of spousal abuse but it seems like his wife had every piece of evidence that would be able to put him in jail rather than her so everything was blamed on him for the abuse and the jury ruled him unable to keep any stable relationship”

“Garcia do you have a work and home address?”

“Sent to your phones now; barber shop and home” the phone clicked off.

“(Y/n) i want you to go to the barber shop with Reid and Derek. Emily, J.J. and I will go to the house; Rossi stays here in case anything else happens.” and with that you all ran to the SUV’s.

-----

“CHRIS GEVETTE FBI!” Derek shouted through the door, your guns were drawn and ready for action as Derek kicked the door in. You moved swiftly through the shop, finding nothing but dust.

“Guys!” you were now out the back as your partners came running, “it's exactly like Sweeney Todd,” you motioned to the stairs in front of you before looking behind you, “there's stars that lead down as well; there may be bodies in there like the movie too, you go down there and i'll go up.”

“(Y/n) let me come with you,” that was Spencer, he looked genuinely concerned.

“I've got this Spence. Go” you started your ascent up the wooden stairs while trying to stay as quiet as you possibly could, “CHRIS GEVETTE,” you called out to the door once you got to it, you could hear the bustle of footsteps and made the split decision. The door was kicked in by you as you pointed your gun to Chris who was now holding a razor to a woman's neck.

“Get away!” Chris screamed, he was frantic; trembling and crying.

“Chris! Chris it's okay, i'm a good guy, okay?” you slowly let go of your gun, “im holstering my gun, okay?” you said as you're-holstered your gun, “Chris i know about the divorce-”

“No you dont!” Chris called, the woman under the razor trembled as the razor cut into her neck slightly.

“I do! Chris, I know you were abused! I know it wasn't you that did the abusing! If you let her go we can help you get custody and instead send that bitch to jail,” Chris looked almost relieved to hear that, he contemplated that for a moment before slowly letting the woman go. She ran over to you as Derek and Spencer finally came up the stairs and started handcuffing Chris.

“We’ve got two other bodies in the basement,” Spencer said to you while you held the trembling woman, “there's medic on the way now,” you nodded in affirmation before starting to help the women calm down and walk down the stairs.

------

The jet finally landed back at the bureau as the rest of your team started packing their things from their desks.

“Um (Y/n)” a voice called, you smiled as you looked up to see the person you least expected.

“Spence?” you questioned; your eyes darted around and couldn't see any other team member in sight, “everyone left already. Sorry. I've been in my own little world,” you gave a tight smile as you continued packing some extra files into your bag.

“It-it’s just me, but um, I just wanted to congratulate you on your break in the case,” the comment from Spencer's timid and small voice caught you off guard so much that you froze for a moment as you stared at him. It all seemed to go quiet, and slow; the clock on the wall seemed to tick at an atrociously slow pace.

Tick…

“(Y/n)?”

Tock…

“Hmm?”

“I uh, i was-”

“Oh, yeah um-”

Pause.

Quiet.

“Thank you,” smile.

Tick…

“I was...was wondering, (Y/n)...”

Tock…

“Yeah Spence?”

“Would you...would you like to go...on a date...with...me?”

Pause.

Quiet.

“With you?”

“Well, I did...I did say ‘me’ I hope- just, just forget it” and the world went back to normal as Spence started walking away.

“No Spence, wait!” you grabbed your things and quickly darted off after him; plunging your arm between the elevator doors and stepping in quickly before they shut behind you.

“Just forget it (Y/n); forget i ever asked and we can just go back to-”

“I would love to go on a date with you”

Tick…

“Really?”

“So long as you don't call me a paramecium again”

Tock…

“I won't; as long as you don't call me a substitute chemistry teacher”

Pause.

Quiet.

“I won't”

“Then it's settled.

Tick…

“Message me?”

“Of course”

Tock…

Smile.

[morgansdeb]

☕️ alex leaving jo for izzie

*sighs* Okay, so I have several thoughts about this, but I don’t know if I’m going to do a good job at articulating them properly. This is going to be long.

So, this is probably my most unpopular opinion of all time... I don’t like Alex Karev. I never have. I think he’s annoying, a bully, and quite frankly, he did a lot of terrible things that the fandom doesn’t really address. I mean, when I finished Grey’s and I went online to see if others disliked Alex, I was disappointed that I found very few people that agreed with me. This fandom LOVES this guy, and I’m just here in my little corner like “nope, he sucks.”

I think the thing that bugs me the most is the hypocrisy in the fandom when it comes to Izzie vs Alex.

When Izzie left the show, because Katherine Heigl left the show, she became the evil bitch who abandoned Alex, that horrible ungrateful woman who didn’t stay by her husband’s side despite all he did for her. We know the reason Izzie’s exit from the show was so poorly handled was because of Shonda’s issue with Katherine not submitting herself for an Emmy for season 4 (which tbh, I can’t blame her? She was right when she said the material she received that season wasn’t Emmy-worthy, especially in comparison to Izzie’s storylines in the previous two seasons, which were actually heart-wrenching and better developed), so I genuinely don’t get where people’s beef with Izzie comes from. She was written that way because of issues behind the scenes.

And if I’m honest here... people forget that when Izzie left the first time, she was under a lot of emotional distress. She was BATTLING CANCER, JUST LOST HER FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD, AND GOT FIRED FROM THE HOSPITAL!!!! Sorry for yelling, but this fandom doesn’t have any consideration for Izzie’s feelings. Webber fired her in a stone-cold way and heavily implied Alex helped him with that decision. So of course Izzie left. She was traumatized!! And then SHE CAME BACK. She came back and wanted to make things right with Alex, but he told her TO LEAVE. He was the one who did that. So what was Izzie supposed to do? Stay in a hospital where she has to work with a man who told her “I love you so much I almost hate you” (wtf was that line)? Yeah, I can’t blame her for leaving.

People always wanna talk about how Izzie is selfish when she donated 8 million dollars to open a free clinic, was the only resident who bothered to teach the interns (while Alex complained about working on the clinic and said the interns were stupid, lmao, what a guy), donated money to pay for a girl’s back surgery, decorated the house for Christmas and made socks for Meredith and George (and Doc!!), tried to be nice to the doctors from Mercy-West (and ended up getting called a bitch for it :///) and was overall a happy, sweet person who cared about her patients and her friends. Izzie was amazing, why are you all so mean to her?? Because she left Alex’s annoying ass?? If that man was my husband, I’d leave him too, lmao

ANYWAY... so yeah, Alex ain’t shit to me. The first thing he did when he met Izzie was tell her she wouldn’t last as a surgeon, then sexually harassed by hanging pictures of Izzie’s modeling days all over the locker room, cheated on her with Olivia, made fun of her relationship with Denny, called her a stupid bitch and stole one of her surgeries, made her cancer all about himself, didn’t comfort her after George died (seriously, this was so fucked up and nobody ever talks about it. Alex was so jealous of Izzie’s love for George and he showed it all the time)... that man was not “the perfect husband”. He’s lucky Izzie gave him the time of day after the stunt he pulled in the locker room. She was the only one of the interns who gave him a chance, when Meredith, Cristina, and George wanted nothing to do with him (and who could blame them).

He also bullied the hell out of George and April, especially April. People defend this by saying “oh, but everyone bullied April!!” (that isn’t a solid defense, btw), and while the other characters were annoying for that (I love Cristina, but her treatment of April was so awful, same with Meredith, Lexie, and even Jackson was a dick to her at times), Alex always took things to an extreme level. When they’re in the on-call room and are about to have sex, Alex starts yelling at her and saying all that gross stuff about not wanting to hold her virgin hand, and then we see April choking on her own tears at Cristina’s house and Alex never apologized to her for that, he just continued to bully her. He ALMOST KILLED Andrew, and I know that he beat him up because he thought he was assaulting Jo, but he didn’t even try to make things right with him?? He could have killed him or ruin his entire career, but the show had Alex be portrayed as the victim and the other characters didn’t seem to be bothered by what he did?? How did Bailey appoint him as temporary chief when he had a record??

Okay, so this turned into an anti-Alex rant more than anything else, but all this needed to be said. I know he became a better doctor and everything, but he never clicked as a character for me. His friendship with Meredith seemed forced (Cristina was gone, so Meredith needed to hold on to someone, right??), and it was very shitty how it took Meredith TWO YEARS to respect Jo as Alex’s girlfriend and Alex just let Meredith treat her like crap?? Never change, Karev. I don’t care about his friendship with Arizona, either.

So... this guy left Jo. He cheated on her, lied to her, and then left her in a letter. And the fandom is like “okay, but Alex didn’t do it!!! The writers ruined him!!!”, oh, wow, so when Izzie leaves Alex she’s a bitch, but when Alex leaves Jo, it was the writers??? Alex should be the most hated character on the show because what he did was horrible, but the fandom gives him a pass. Y’all hate Izzie, but this guy is okay in your eyes???

Another unpopular opinion, but I don’t like Jo either. She’s boring to me; I don’t care about her storylines (I find them quite repetitive), and I never cared about her relationship with Alex (they had zero chemistry to me). So no, I don’t care that they’re over. I do wish Alex had taken her with him, lmao.

I hate that they made Alex and Izzie end up together because now EVERYONE is blaming Izzie for Alex’s exit. “She hid the children from him!!!” Alex SIGNED his rights away and told Izzie she could do whatever she wanted with his sperm. It’s not Izzie’s fault Alex decided he now wanted to be a dad to those kids. Why does Izzie get all the blame for all of this? Alex is a grown man who made a choice. We also never saw them reunite on screen, so we have no idea what they spoke about. Maybe Alex didn’t even tell her he was married. I mean, he had no problem lying to his wife about where he was, so who’s to say he didn’t lie to Izzie, too?

I know, I KNOW that Alex leaving Jo like that is bad writing. But the only reason I care is because I hate that this storyline made my favorite character the target of fandom hypocrisy and hate. But to be honest, Alex got a better ending than most. George, Lexie, Mark, and Derek died horrible and painful deaths. Callie and April also had shitty exists. The ONLY one who had an exit worthy of her character was Cristina (not counting Addison because she went to have her own spin off).

I don’t know if I have anything else to add, tbh. If you hate Izzie but love Alex, you’re a hypocrite.

Oh, and George and Izzie forever <333

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, blizsquees!

For @blizsquees. Merry Christmas Bliz! May it be filled with much love, laughter, and Sterek :)

Read On AO3

*****

A Courting We Will Go

Erica hands Derek his wolfsbane laced beer and plonks herself down next to him on the bench.

“Have you asked him yet?”

Derek groans, running his hand down his face. “No, Erica.”

“Why not?”

“None of your business.”

“Actually, it is my business. You’re my Alpha, he’s my Emissary. Or he would be if you just freaking asked him!”

Derek grumbles at his beta. “It’s not that simple Erica! There’s a process. I essentially have to court him. I can’t just walk up to him and say, “Yo Stiles! Wanna be my emissary?”

Erica looks at Derek with wide eyes. “You have to court him?”

“Kinda. It's not an overly lengthy process, but I have to make my intention known by bringing him a hard to get spell ingredient, preferably one he needs and then it goes from there.”

“This is perfect!” Erica jumps up from her seat and throws herself into Derek’s lap, both of their beers sloshing out the top of the bottles. “You can court him as your emissary, AND as your loverboy.”

“WHAT??? NO ERICA that’s not …”

“You’ve been pining over Stiles for months, if not years! You can woo him to because our Emissary, and woo him into your bed!”

“I have not been pining!”

Boyd and Isaac walk out of the house and down the back stairs. Isaac snorts. “You so have been pining.”

Boyd nods. “It’s pretty obvious too. Scott noticed.”

Erica starts to cackle. “And he’s a dumb as a box of rocks! Come on Der, you can combine the two! MULTITASKING.”

Derek looks at his betas. “OK. Maybe I have been pining, But it doesn’t work like that. I can’t woo him as my emissary and mate at the same time.”

Boyd shrugs. “So pick one.”

The betas look at their Alpha expectantly. “We’ll go with Emissary first. We need an Emissary.”

Erica looks disappointed. “Can’t you woo him as your mate first? I don’t want to have to endure the pining until after the Emissary wooing is finished.”

Derek sighs. “Be patient sheesh. I’m going to go talk to my mom. You two make sure that Erica behaves.”

Derek gets up from the bench and climbs the stairs to the house. As he shuts the door he hears Isaac whisper, “I can't wait for them to bond, they're so good for each other."

*****

Derek runs over to his parent’s house in the preserve. As he breaks through the treeline he sees his mom Talia waiting on the porch.

“Hello Bun, what brings you over here today?”

Derek runs up the stairs and pulls his mother into a hug and gives her a squeeze. Talia laughs and hugs her son back giving a squeeze of her own.

“You seem happy! What’s gotten into you?”

Derek pulls away from the hug. “I’m going to start the Emissary courtship with Stiles.”

“Oh, darling heart that’s wonderful! You’re here for some information?”

Derek nods, following his mother into the house. The scent of cinnamon, vanilla, and ginger is rich in the air along with the fresh pine from the real Christmas tree standing in the corner of the living room.

Once in the kitchen, Talia pours Derek a coffee and one for herself. “So Bun, what do you want to know?”

Derek savours the flavour of the coffee and takes another sip before answering his mom. “Everything. I think I remember the steps, but I don’t want to mess this up.”

“Tell me what you remember then.”

“So the first step is the initial gift of getting something Stiles needs that’s hard to get. Then if he accepts that gift then the next gift is a copy of the latest bestiary. Then lastly I offer myself as his Alpha.”

Talia smiles at her son. “Good memory Derek! So you need to think of what to get Stiles, my suggestion is to look at his style of magic and get himself that will enhance that. While you do that I’ll make sure Peter has a Hale bestiary ready for the next step. This is so exciting Bun!”

Derek nods slowly as he downs the last of his coffee. “It feels like a long time coming. I mean, my betas say it’s a long time coming.”

“They probably thought that you would have at least asked Stiles out on a date by now.”

“MOM not you too!”

“Oh please Der-Bear, you have never been subtle when you are enamoured with a young man or woman. I’ve seen how you look at him, stealing glances when you think he’s not looking, smiling when he laughs even though you have no idea what he’s laughing at. But I’m glad you are going down the Emissary route first though. It will make your relationship so much stronger once you get together.”

“You seem awfully sure he’s going to accept my gift and then when I ask him out.”

“Bun, I’ve seen how he looks at you too. Now. What are you going to get for your first gift?”

*****

Derek pulls into the parking lot of the vet surgery just as Alan Deaton is about to lock the door for the evening. Alan holds the door open until Derek has entered, closing and locking the door after the wolf.

“What can I do for you, Mr Hale?”

“Sorry I’m here on closing Dr Deaton, but I won’t take too much of your time. I just wanted to ask you the best way to get all the different strains of wolfsbane. Is there a one-stop-shop or something?”

“Let’s take this conversation out the back Derek.”

Deaton lifts the bench to break the mountain ash line and leads Derek into the back office. “Back to your question, there is a one-stop wolfsbane shop actually. But it’s in Argentina.”

Derek’s face falls. “Oh.”

“I’m going to take a guess and say that this is for the first Emissary gift for Mr Stilinski?”

Derek nods.”Not only would it be helpful for the pack, but I think Stiles would love that.”

“I agree. I'm going to give you the name of the Emissary of the Garcia pack. Her name is Este. Not only does she have all the strains, but she’s the only person in the Americas who has a surplus of seeds. If you explain why you want the wolfsbane, and talk some about Stiles, I think she might send seeds too. That’s a mighty fine first Emissary gift.”

Deaton pulls out his address book from the locked bottom drawer in the drug cabinet and a piece of paper from the top of the desk. He writes down Este’s name and her contact details and hands the page to Derek. “Good luck Mr Hale. Stiles will make a wonderful addition to your pack. I believe your wolf and his spark are going to meld very well together and be a very powerful addition to the Hale pack.”

Derek holds the page in his hand gently as if it will shatter. “Thank you, Dr Deaton. I appreciate the help.”

The vet guides the wolf out of the building and closes and locks the door behind Derek. He waves and walks into the now dark office.

Derek walks to his car and pulls out his cell phone. Punching in the number he takes a deep breath and waits for the call to go through. There’s a click.

“Buenas tardes este es Este.”

“Hola, mi nombre es Derek Hale, soy uno de los Alfa en Beacon Hills. Quería hablar contigo sobre tu colección de matanza de lobo, ya que estoy planeando mi oferta de Emisario.”

*****

A week later Stiles Stilinski is in the kitchen of his family home preparing his homegrown vegetables to accompany a large roast beef that is already in the oven. His babica sits at the dining table laughing at her grandson as he tries to chop a carrot while shaking his backside to the music playing from the Bluetooth speaker.

A knock on the door startles Stiles as he’s about to begin chopping another carrot. “Babica can you get that for me? I’m covered in carrot guts.”

“Of course Mischief. For you my boy.” Gabriela Stilinski gets up from her chair and shuffles towards the front door. Opening the door widely she sees a nervous Derek standing there clutching a strong wooden box.

“Derek Hale! My goodness, you have grown up very very handsome. Isn’t he handsome Mieczyslaw? Come! Come!”

Looking like a deer in headlights, Derek walks into the house as Stiles is walking out of the kitchen wiping off his hands on a tea towel.

“Hey, Derek! What brings you here?”

Stiles throws the teatowel back into the kitchen.

Derek takes a deep breath. “Mieczyslaw Stilinski. With this gift, I offer you a place by my side. As my equal. As my partner. As my Emissary. Together we will guide and strengthen our pack, defend our territory, and support our allies. What say you?”

Derek holds the box forward, offering it up to Stiles. The Spark slowly lifts the lid and sees the perfectly wrapped strains of wolfsbane, as well as the numerous packets of seeds. Stiles gasps and runs his fingers over the top of all the packages. Taking a step back he looks up at Derek.

“Alpha Hale. It is my honour to accept your offer, both the gift and place by your side.”

Derek releases the breath he didn’t realise he was holding. “Really?”

Stiles rolls his eyes. “Of course Sourwolf! We’ve always been a good team.”

Derek places down the box and sweeps Stiles up into a hug. Stiles returns the hug eagerly while Gabriela claps.

The men pull away from the hug, Derek squeezes Stiles’ arms. “Your family is invited to our home for dinner on Sunday night to finalise the next steps of our joining.” Turning to Gabriela, “I’d love it if you came as well babcia.”

Stiles smiles brightly. “We will all be there. Dad isn’t working this weekend.”

Grandma Stilinski steps forward and grabs Derek’s arm. “You must tell us what to bring Derek, we must celebrate!”

*****

Sunday morning, Laura and Cora find Derek pacing the kitchen while the brand new Hale bestiary sits on the kitchen bench.

Cora rolls her eyes at her older brother. “You’re going to wear a hole in the floor boofhead. What’s got you so worked up?”

Laura raises an eyebrow. “Are you freaking out about tonight? It’ll go smoothly bun. It did for Lydia and me, it will for you and Stiles too.”

Derek stops pacing and looks at his sister in a panic. “What if he backs out?”

Talia sweeps into the room after her daughters. “He’s not going to back out Bun. He’s been telling everyone who will listen how excited he is. This is a big moment for both of you! Now, time to stop freaking out and bring yourself and your stuff over the main house to get ready. Everyone is aiming to be there by 5 pm so we need to get cracking.”

Laura goes upstairs and grabs Derek’s duffle and suit bag and brings them out to the car. Cora follows her out of the door leaving Talia and Derek alone in the kitchen. “My son, look at me.”

Derek looks at his mother, eyes filled with uncertainty.

“Stiles is just as nervous as you sweetheart. Claudia called me earlier laughing because Stiles had the hiccups for an hour. She said that he was scared you would change your mind.”

“I would never mom. He’s it for me.”

“As your Emissary? Or your mate?”

“Both. But I don’t know if could only having him as one and not the other.”

Talia takes her sons hands and gently squeezes them. “My boy, you have nothing to worry about on either count. Trust your mother. Forge your wolf’s bonds, then let the other happen naturally, and they will happen. But one thing at a time hmm?”

Derek smiles at his mom and grabs the book off the countertop, and follows his mother out of his house and to the family car.

*****

The grandfather clock in the hall strikes five, and the entirety of the Hale pack and Stilinski family sit in a circle in the backyard of the main Hale house. There are lights strung through all the trees, the aroma of cooking meat dances in the air, and the excited chatter of the families dulls down after the final clang of the clock.

From either side of the circle, Derek and Stiles make their way through their pack and meet in the middle. Derek is holding the new bestiary in his hands.

“Mieczyslaw Stilinski. To further our bond as wolf and spark, I offer you the complete history of the Hale family and our knowledge of all supernatural lore. Our bestiary is yours, guard it with your life and power, this knowledge not to leave our pack.”

Stiles opens the front page of the bestiary where Derek has put a singularity claw mark in the front cover. Closing his eyes, Stiles places his right index finger onto the claw mark. “My spark and your wolf, together as one.”

The page glows as magic inscribes into the paper the mark of the Emissary. Talia comes and takes the book from Derek and goes back to her seat. The men take a step closer.

“As our final step towards our joining, I pledge myself as your Alpha. To support you at all times. To protect you at all times. My wolf. Your spark. Our pack.”

Derek tilts his head to the right exposing his neck to Stiles while several people in the audience gasp. Stiles runs his hand down Derek’s neck and stops when he can feel the wolf’s pulse under his thumb.

“My spark. Your wolf. Our pack. I pledge myself as your Emissary. To support you at all times. To protect you at all times.”

Stiles squeezes Derek’s neck then removes his hand. Bearing his neck to Derek in return he whispers, “My Alpha.”

Derek lunges forward with fangs bared, pressing them gently into the pale skin of his Emissary. With the tips of his fangs touching the skin, the bond is completed, power surging between the wolf and the spark. Erica, Boyd, and Issac leap from their seats and howl in happiness as they feel the pack bonds strengthen and Stiles bond snapping into place with theirs. The rest of the Hale family then join in, howls ringing out into the night, the Stilinskis cheering and clapping.

As the howls quieten, and the wolves calm, Derek and Stiles are still standing in the middle of the circle, heads bowed, both men smiling widely.

Stiles breaks the silence. “Would it be too soon to tell you that I love you?”

Derek looks at Stiles in surprise and bursts out laughing, pulling Stiles into a hug. His laughter dies down and he looks in adoration and his Spark. “Not too soon at all.”

“Good. Now kiss me Alpha.”

Derek’s smile brightens as he tips Stiles chin gently and places a delicate kiss on his lips. “My Emissary.”

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Whats your favorite type of cookie/thing to bake or cook?

Ooooh, there are so many. (Might I direct you to my cottagecore blog @lemonii-love) 

Chocolate chip cookies, ofc. My cookies always have a little extra salt for that savory bite at the end, which imo is the best way to do it. I don’t like things to be overly sweet. 

I make an amazing blueberry streusel, and I love baking brownies. I have a delicious honey bread recipe that I make in the fall around Mabon (when the weather’s right). I brought some to my dad’s work a few years ago when I started making it, and they all raved about it, and try to get me to make it for them. Unfortunately it’s a solstice bread xD Although I do keep meaning to make it more often through the year, I just always forget. 

Actual Food Wise, I love to make tomato soup (made some tonight, it came out fantastic.) and the one thing i can consistently make Really Well is a seared chicken breast with seasoned broccoli. I also switch the chicken for steak sometimes, but I honestly prefer the chicken; has a better texture. (The key is to brine it over night to keep it juicy. So long as you do that, you’ll never have a dry chicken breast again.) 

Biscuits and gravy is always a hit, I grew up on that, and have slowly gleaned the recipe over the years. My mom isn’t the type of person to use silly things like “measurements” and “repeatable recipes”. But the key for that is to use Italian sage sausage, and plenty of pepper. Too many people make the gravy so salty, with no peppery bite. One must have balance. 

And finally, beef stew! That is the only recipe in my family (again, not really a recipe, but I make it work) that’s like. A Closely Guarded Secret. It is fantastic, it is beautiful, it is the epitome of comfort food. I literally wrote it into the end of my fic Strings of Fate. Literally the last chapter is the entire pack piling into Stiles’ house, all of them coming together and making the stew (and other side dishes, since it’s an all day kind of affair.) Like, Melissa and Chris bringing over extra crockpots, Derek and his betas going to the store to buy Mass Quantities of Meat (takes a lot to feed a pack of werewolves). Mitch gets roped into chefing since he made it with Claudia the most, as the eldest child. Allison (niece by almost-marriage in this case, Katrina was the youngest sister of Kate and Chris) helps and makes some smaller family recipes of her own, Stiles is shopping with Derek, and like. It’s just this Whole Thing. The pack is together, everyone is paired off with their partner (except Mitch, but that’s its own little angsty surprise). It’s raining outside so they’re all cozy together in the Stilinski house. 

All of those Warm Happy Feelings are packed into every bowl of my mom’s beef stew, guaranteed. I could wax poetic about it all day. And I frequently do, every time we make it!

Tbh I just love to cook. I really like baking especially, but there are a few Actual Food Dishes that I can do pretty well. Although if i could live off of cookies, muffins, and bread, with copious amounts of soup, I absolutely would 😂

I’m going to start gardening again this year and I can’t wait to see what new recipes I can try once it really gets going. Finally! I will no longer have to puzzle how to substitute dry herbs for fresh! I’ll be able to just go and harvest my own herbs! 

[nolanhollogay]

okay so, i’d just like to hear about season 3 of the ngtwu universe in general please!

ahhh ok so there's a Lot but here's a like... bullet point plot line:

3a:

- clem, lydia & scott get together at the end of season 2 so they're all vibing in the beginning

- well you know not Vibing bcuz boyd & erica (& maybe cora i still don't know how she fits in here) have been kidnapped by the alpha pack but they're not like in relationship turmoil so it's Fine

- they rescue them from the alpha pack and find out about the darach and the whole derek has to kill his betas plot doesn't happen (for now! i think I'll have to rework it)

- they do still think he's dead tho and i think motel california works as it is (except clem and lydia would probably be the ones to talk scott down instead of stiles)

- the whole derek being forced to kill boyd thing just doesn't exist fuck u jeff davis!

- scott still becomes true alpha ofc

- everyone else finds out that clem is a druid in training when they find out about deaton & morrell being emissaries

- roxie & isaac try to help erica & boyd deal with almost dying bcuz they are all besties (this is mostly side plot but i wanted to mention it)

- everything else is pretty much the same honestly i like 3a tbh my beef is with 3b

- oh and beck receuits bunny for her coven (again more of a background thing but like... it happens)

3b:

- deaton and hyunwoo get engaged after all the bs with the alpha pack (i need to make a separate post about hyunwoo in 3a which is why he's not mentioned in those bullet points dgdfs but he Is there)

- clem is very worried about scott hallucinating

- roxie & co help hunt for coyote malia

- basically all the stuff that happens with stiles and the oni and the nogitsune happens to kira there's too much to type dgfgf

- scott and kira and isaac start visiting hyunwoo (kira for plot reasons, scisaac just bcuz these bitches need therapy so bad)

- allison gets malia and kira out of eichen house ♥️

- kira took the nogitsune into her so nobody would get hurt :(

- malia moves in with the argents

- kira tells her mom that the nogitsune is inside of her after her mom tells her she's a kitsune :(

- there's more but i cannot figure out how to explain it all im sorry but basically stiles and boyd & erica are killed when they're trying to fight the nogitsune and it Sucks

- isaac doesn't leave for paris bcuz that was stupid

- mallison get together ♥️

[evtryout]

"You don’t have to be psychotic to be a killer. You just need reason."

FULL NAME: Katherine “Kate” Argent AGE: Thirty-One AFFILIATION: N/A  RANK: Freelance Assassin OCCUPATION: Weapons dealer for licensed Argent weaponry. SEXUALITY: Heterosexual DOPPELGANGER: Jill Wagner STATUS: Alive PLAYER: Mod Ali.

KATE ARGENT has been in Mystic Falls for A YEAR since the war began. She is FEMALE that goes by SHE + HER pronouns. Catch her on a bad day and you will find she is IMPULSIVE, CALLOUS, DETACHED but anyone on her good side will tell you she can be DEDICATED, RESOURCEFUL, CHARISMATIC. Everyone has their guilty pleasures, hers just happens to be LEATHER JACKETS, CRACKLING FIRE AND BULLET SHELL CASINGS. But watch out for them, word on the street says SHE HAS BEEN ORGANIZING A SECRET BLACK MARKET FOR WEAPONS.

IMPORTANT BULLET POINTS.

Kate is responsible for the Hale fire. She acted under orders of both Gerard and with Klaus Mikaelson’s finances.

Kate is currently a double agent. For all public purposes, she appears to still be on the Hale’s side when she is actually an informant to Klaus himself. She is also attempting to work Damon Salvatore for information she can sell to Klaus.

Kate is aware of the Mikaelson’s anger towards Katherine through chatter from the clan. Kate has taken it upon herself to offer mentorship to the young girl whose fierce and tenacious nature is admired, reminding her a bit of herself at that age.

The Argent Matriarch was murdered when Kate was only 3, the murder was unsolved and the sole reason they moved to Mystic Falls.

Kate has been operating a secret business on the side; mostly the selling of illegal firearms and distributing to clans with the Mikaelsons being her largest clientele.

Kate Argent was born with the promise and power of her name. Being an Argent with ties to the criminal underworld with a trail leading back to the Chicago mob in the twenties, Kate was already at a major advantage. Taught since she could walk and talk how to use weapons ranging from a pistol, AK with her preference and specialty being a rifle. At an age where she could understand what the Argent name truly stood for, she took pride in it, watching her father’s dealings and him taking her along for his business when she was old enough and Kate was eager to live up to her family’s name much to her mother’s dismay who was against ties to the criminal world. Arguments between her mother and Gerard on how to raise their children, brought them to the brink of a nasty divorce until suddenly the Argent matriarch was murdered in their home town in California with Gerard being the prime suspect in her murder but with lack of proof and a case gone cold, no charges were filed. After his wife’s death, he decided to move his children and relocate to Mystic Falls, Virginia where he would begin to rebuild the Argent name.

From the age of three, after her mother’s tragic murder up until present day, Kate was her father’s shining pupil. She followed his every order, perfected her technique and took her first life when she was just thirteen years old. Being the ideal daughter created a rift between her and her brother Christopher who disagreed with the family values, attempting to talk sense and reasoning into Kate as she grew into her years. Kate rather saw the name as something to revel in, to make it a name worth proud of. She was beautiful, something she used to her advantage often times. She was trouble with a capital T when she entered high school. Boys dug the sex appeal, the less than pristine nature and girls were intimidated. Kate never attached herself to any of the boyfriends she had, often growing bored of the whole relationship game within a week.

After graduation, Kate officially entered the family business. She first started out her career commiting a few jobs for Giuseppe Salvatore and a few for the Hale clan with her loyalty remaining to herself, Kate was truly a free agent, her name was known around the criminal underworld. She was good at being a markswoman; arguably, one of the best in a long while in the Argent family. She held no hesitation or second thoughts on a job or for the victims whose name was on the contract, there was no empathy. Just a solid paycheck and a prideful accomplishment.

On a business trip to New Orleans two years ago, Kate met Klaus Mikaelson. The boss of the New Orleans Mikaelson crime family. The two hit it off and from him, she learned of his plans to expand his empire with Mystic Falls being an extremely profitable location and the ideal spot for smuggling illegal goods from overseas. Kate already had connections back in Mystic Falls, specifically being in direct connection to the Hale family. Together under the promise of a great sum of cash, Kate conspired against the two crime families of Mystic Falls.

For two years, Kate gained more entry to the Hales using Talia’s son Derek. The two emitted an affair and Derek unknowingly giving Kate the blueprint to the protected Hale house and its varying locations all while reporting back to Klaus until he decided it would be time to take action. Under his orders, Kate waited for the Hale’s to call an important meeting with almost each member of the clan inside before closing off any hope of escape and struck the match that killed nearly every clan member.

When Kate isn’t on an active job, she has acquired her own small business on the side. With the help of a few of the loyal Argent men, Kate has been building her own market, selling illegal firearms banned in the states and various other powerful equipment such as remote bombs with the Mikaelsons being her largest clientele with Klaus planning on keeping it on his payroll when he officially takes over the quaint little town of Mystic Falls but Kate��s loyalty is to herself and her family, belonging to no one clan nor man and she plans to keep her side business independent.

PETER HALE: Peter never trusted Kate from the moment he spotted her with his nephew. Peter feels without a shadow of a doubt, Kate started the fire that ended his family.

KATHERINE PIERCE: Kate is aware of the Mikaelson clan’s beef with the Bulgarian, overhearing clan chatter. Katherine reminds Kate a lot of herself when she was that age and has offered Katherine a chance to fall under her wing to mentor as Kate sees potential within her with promise to give her insight on how to escape her Klaus problem with her life intact.

THIRD CONNECTION HERE: Tbt.

[dafukdidiwatch]

Cool Cat Saves The Kids

I watched this movie and I still can’t believe this is the actual cover art for it.

God I wrote so many notes about this that even my flipping Bullet Points were basically an essay. I don’t even know how to begin just thinking about it hurts my head.

Overview: Cool Cat is Cool. Things happen to him, and he has to deal with bullying.

That’s it. That’s the thing I watched. Because there is no Real Flipping Plot to this movie.

This is a kid’s show. Or at the very minimum, a movie that is intended for children. It was based on a kid’s book series I’ve never heard of whose author Derek Savage decided to turn it into a movie. Though movie isn’t exactly what I would call it. When you watch it, it honestly feels like there are six 15 minute shorts that they just mashed together to a feature film, but even then that is a Generous Description.

Basically, the film tries to be a children’s program (and I guess has beef with Barney?). And you can see intent behind it being informative child-friendly psa. But the execution was so bad.

First, there is no plot. Sure the cover says that this is “an anti-bullying kid gun safety movie,” but it really give you nothing. What would happen is that Cool Cat has a problem, like someone bullying him or his friends. It would either A) be addressed immediately and solved so that’s great, or B) it is dropped immediately and never really addressed throughout the rest of the film.

And example of A is that the bully kid Butch just starts stealing candy just to be “evil,” Cool Cat sees that and chases him, and the kid gets arrested twenty seconds later. The End.

For B, Cool Cat gets a mean email. And...that’s about it. He responds to the email, but doesn’t actually address the issue and the subplot drops entirely until that VERY Last wrap up scene.

I think the reason for this lack of plot is that there was just WAY too many messages in here. Like, take a shot every time you see a psa announcement. It ranges from don’t bully, how to deal with bullies, being creative, crossing the street safely, to fricking GUN?! Like, the gun thing that I Guess was promoted in the movie tagline, only shows up the last 10 minutes. It caught me so off guard. You cannot call this a Gun Safety movie when guns aren’t even prevalent!!

And the lack of plot is counterproductive when you want to make a Kid’s Movie like this. If you want to tackle each issue as a show or a short, the messages would come across better. There would be more time to develop each message for kids to really understand. But because there is So Much to cover, a lot of the things are gonna fall to the wayside. There is no way a kid would pay attention to this, and if they do I doubt they are gonna learn everything that Derek Savage is trying to teach. There just isn’t any real focus.

The acting, god like they Tried to go with the kid friendly vibe, but was not working. At All. It was like they thought that to add emotion is to just enunciate your words as loudly as you can. Cool Cat was way too yelly. Every line he was just screaming, has no change whatsoever. Even Elmo can sound sad when need be (fucking love Elmo, but he does has a similar voice vibe to Cool Cat, just better).

Then the kids....I don’t want to be mean but I’ll be blunt. They are just reading lines, this is a middle school stage play basically. I’m not blaming the kids, Butch look like he had a hell of a time doing his villain laugh. It’s just that some of the scenes felt like it was taken in one shot and they didn’t bother to retry. Example: One kid got too excited and jumped his line, but they couldn’t just retake that??

And the lines, man. OOF. Some of it was bad. Like, really really bad placement.They should have had someone proof-read this.

Cool Cat: “Why Are You Painting That Wall?”

Random Kid: “Because Nobody Loves Us”

lol what?

Maria: “I bet those kids have never been shown love before.”

Cool Cat: “Thanks, and it’s all true”

LOL What??

There are just a LOT of lines like that that should have been rephrased.

THEN there are the freaking technical issues.

The audio kept fluctuating in sound quality, which honestly started to hurt with Cool Cat’s constant yelling. Some scenes it sounds like they recorded in a studio, sometimes it sounded like the actors had to yell in order for the camera to capture it. There were echos, there were layers, you can’t hear the lines over the song, you can’t hear the song over the cheers. There was one point whispers overlaid on top of the lines where I thought that Cool Cat just got haunted now. And the fun side of having headphones on means I heard the phone button noises in only One Ear. LOUDLY.

Blocking could have been better. There were a lot of backs to the camera, shots of characters walking away from camera not just off screen. This didn’t bother me as much, because I know this isn’t professionally made. But it didn’t feel like they really tried as much as just half-assed it. Example:

Cool Cat was drawing a picture with different colors, but the actor only used one marker and just said different colors. Or Cool Cat is working on a poster but really just rubs the already completed poster  on a clean table as him “working.” Like, how hard is it to just film on a table with a bunch of craft supplies around you?

Then there are the questionable camera shots. LOTS of lingering shots to I assume fill up run time. These are shots of just showing Cool Cat walking round without having any real purpose. It shows Cool Catwalk all the way Up Stairs. Walked all the way Down Stairs. Walking into the House, walking into the Car. Even just shots of the parents doing things with no real motivation or impact to whatever Cool Cat is doing. It’s just there. If you want to say stuff like "oh well its to show the parents relationship" no it doesn’t. You can’t really add nuance to characters when the rest of the film is just one chaotic shot after the other. It just gets lost in translation.

The music number is probably what hurts me the most. You see Cool Cat WRITE the song. Then he SINGS the song. Then he DANCES to a DIFFERENT song. And that was it. He just needed the song for the parade, but there wasn’t any explanation or anything. I don’t even know WHY he needs the song for the parade! There was no explanation. It was just an excuse to have two back-to-back bad music video of poor choreography that again, NO POINT to whatever plot/message/psa thing he is trying to do.

I get that there should be some leeway since it looked like this was shot at Derek Savage’s house/neighborhood, so there really isn’t much they could do with their setting. But they could at least tried more with what they had. Cool Cat’s room doesn’t look exactly child friendly. There are only blank drab walls with two, maybe three posters of just Cool Cat himself. There is a reason the settings in other children shows have vibrant colors to engage them. Along with that, another half-assing moment was Butch graffiting Cool Cat’s poster, but it was one of those political posters you stuck on the lawn so it was like a foot tall outside. 1) You can’t really see that shit that small. 2) You couldn’t put the poster on a wall to film that scene at, to give a better view to the audience? It’s just a bunch of little things like that all over this film that really adds up.

Also, what’s with the posters only being about Cool Cat in his own room? A bit narcissistic if you ask me.

I'm also like 70%,sure they made this movie around the footage of them being in the Hollywood parade twice. They were at the parade, got the film, and wanted to use it so they made a movie for it. And I know it was twice because the announcers that were there to announce the arrival of Cool Cat had a costume change after switching scenes.

And after ALL of this, there is just so many random shit that really don’t do anything. Elements are randomly introduced and just as randomly dropped. We get a “next day” transition in the middle of the movie when days have already passed before them. Cool Cat breaks the 4th wall a couple of times with no real reason why. There is this joke where the camera was following Cool Cat into the bathroom for Cool Cat to ask for privacy, only to just ignore that bit every time he goes to the bathroom afterwards. Cool Cat just makes random ass noises when doing things, not important stuff. Just Doing Things. And he does this weird thing where I think he is trying to do Air Guitar, but it just looks like he is just shaking his leg a lot. I don’t really get it.

(Oh Shit, it is only after like the 3rd proof-read of this review I notice that in the gif you can clearly see the dude’s actual leg. I don’t know how mascot suits actually work, but I’m pretty sure that you’re not supposed to let kids actually see that there’s a person underneath in a kid’s show.)

There is also this....lowkey humblebrag going on? Which does not do the movie favors. After the first dumb song number, Derek shows off that he has a signed guitar by Van Halen. Like not just him playing it (which after the 15th zoom in on the guitar how could you NOT notice it thank you Derek), but pointing out to the audience that, Yes it was Indeed signed by Van Halen. Then there is the footage from the Hollywood Parade about the cars there. Sure, I get showing off like the Ghostbusters car, or Jurassic Park car, or the Batmobile. But Hurby the Love Bug? Night Rider?? Starsky and Hutch??? Magnum P.I.?????? The target audience is elementary kids, they aren’t going to know these old shows. So who is this for exactly?

Kudos to the cop for actually doing this, seriously. That cop probably had a hell of a lot of better things to do than arrest children for a bad after-school special.

And this is just SOME of the main problems of this film. There’s so much going on it would be impossible for me to go over everything without

The thing is, there is good material here. Maybe not great results, but there are a lot of ideas here that you can work with to make a decent kid’s movie. I actually loved the part where Cool Cat is dreaming and trying to figure out how he should handle bullies. I thought that was a good scene and a good way to show kids how to think through different options. There are good ideas here, but it was just way to much going on at once the movie basically shoots itself in the foot.

So here is My Version of what Cool Cat should have done. 

Cool Cat is running for School President. That’s the main story line. Early in the movie he learns of a writing contest where the winner gets their own float at the hollywood parade (stretch but roll with it). But Cool Cat has no idea what to write, and talks to it with his friends who offers ideas. So he is juggling that along with running for Student President.

However, the Butch the Bully doesn’t like that. He doesn’t want Cool Cat to win. So he vandalizes his posters. Cool cat still runs and makes better posters. Butch tries to frame Cool Cat for vandalizing the playground, but instead his cronies get caught and convinced that it was a bad idea. So Butch decides to cyberbully Cool Cat and his friends to scare them off. He works with the other kid running for President to make a hate ad against Cool Cat, telling everyone how terrible and bad Cool Cat is. Cool Cat tries to go against this my making his music video song over how cool he is to swing the votes, making Butch more angry and vindictive to his bullying scheme.

Cool Cat doesn’t know how to get Butch to stop, but after getting advice from his friends, parents, teachers, and some hard thinking, he decides to confront Butch about his bullying issue, tell someone, and thus solves the problem. Later on after talking to Butch, maybe manages to convince him to start being friends. 

Finally, Cool Cat uses this scenario to write his story about how to deal with bullying and make new friends. Which wins and we end with the Hollywood Parade.

Is this perfect? No. But it focuses the idea to one main plot (running for president) with the other issues naturally coming off of it, instead of making each issue it’s own separate thing. There is no random shifts in narrative, no GUN moments (or GUN in general we kick that shit out) and just focus on the main bullying theme.

Overall: This was a weird and bad children’s show. You have to put in a lot of effort into making a movie, but there was just too much going on for this to be a Good Children’s Movie, least of all a Good Movie in general. But it isn’t to say that it wasn’t morbidly enjoyable. It’s was like playing Spot The Difference to find all the Wrong Things in here. It was fun in a bad way.

So will I show this to children? No. But will I play a drinking game with my friends where we take a shot every time someone says the phrase “Cool Cat”? Yeah that sounds enjoyable. 

Take a shot for every time you read “Cool Cat” in my review.

Side Note:

You had this as a GUN PSA, wtf are you doing holding a gun!? Given how the only 3 videos this channel has is only Cool Cat Trailers, I’m assuming this is official Cool Cat. Soooo.....what the hell?

[the-thanos]

Why just black lives? Why not every life matters. Has world reached to the pinnacle of hypocrisy.

On May 25th 2020, George Perry Floyd an African-American man died as a white American Minneapolis police officer  Derek Chauvin kept his knee on the right side of Floyd's neck for approx nine minutes. This sad incident incited a movement in the whole america with trending hashtag of #BlackLivesMatter. 

Has human or at-least american reached to the pinnacle of hypocrisy? Why just black lives, why not just every life matters? Most of the rioters on the streets,of america or most of the people registering their protest on the social media with blackout day or with hashtag #blacklivesmatter, almost everyone might be the non vegetarian might have ate some sort of meat, either chicken, beef, fish or any other type of meat. Hence, responsible for some living being’s life. So, the question is why just black lives, why not every life matters? Has anyone who is protesting for the death of george floyd’s death has protested for the lives they have taken in the form of their meal? Probably not, will they stop eating meat and take more lives after this? unlikely, so how one can protest against someone who himself or herself is not willing to commit that they won’t take any living being’s life. If this is not hypocrisy then what is?

There is no doubt that this incident was shameful not only for america but for the whole world and this article is not to support Derek Chauvin, he should get most strict punishment possible. There shouldn’t be any racism based on color, beliefs, race etc. Every human is equal, but does this planet just belong to human? Why we have blind eye towards other creatures living on this planet? The way george floyd died, similarly 9 billion chickens and about 72 billions animals are killed just for the flavor of human’s tongue. 

So the question is why just black lives? why not every life matters? Everyone who is registering their protest including me are they hypocrite? or will they quit eating non-veg food? Think yourself.

[cmcreid-warriorprincess]

Parentdale - - - for plotting ref!

So Lyndsy’s soiree has be thinking about the Havensdale parents a lot and I’d love to plot out some connections with them!! Below’s a list of all my viable parents and their backstories in a compact summary for reference (feel free to message me about connections etc and what it’ll mean for our actual characters!):

Havensdale Natives (they grew up here so high school etc connections like!!)

Karen McReid (single, fc; stana katic) - you know her already! The aunt of Ruby & Carrie, mom of Danny. She was super serious in high school, like ‘class president’ material also with a bit of a wild side but her sis Krystal was the Wild OneTM. Had the weight of the world on her shoulders ALL the time. Eventually dated Daniel Moore (Jenny’s uncle) in high school. Now a businesswomen and all around pillar of the community but keeps an arms length from being too involved in town shenanigans.

Veronica Evans (single) - this is Erica and Rose’s mom! She’s very lovely, a friendly neighbour with a messy ex that no one really knows the real story of (except a select few including neighbours the Wilsons). Close with McReids & Wilsons. Had a lot of friends in high school but lost touch with them when she was married. Is still trying to regain Power over her life and have fun again with friends. Doesn’t date but might want to. Help her.

Chuck and Claire Cooper (married, fc; paul rudd and leslie mann) - the Cooper’s! Christian’s parents and Cam/Callie’s aunt and uncle. Chuck is a teacher at Havens High and Claire owns local baker ‘Claire’s Cakes’. Chuck Cooper was the Ricky Beaumont of his time, total party animal, messy flirt, always up for shots. He’s a bop! Claire is the one who keeps them together, a responsible, very embarrassing mom (they’re both embarrassing tbh). They were BFF since childhood but didn’t get togetherTM until well after high school. ▣ (x)

Victoria Harvelle (married, fc; america ferrera) - Jess’ mom and absolute #dramaQUEEN. She grew up in Havensdale and got the hell out as soon as she turned 18. She’s an ex soap opera star, glamazon and simply #dying over having to be back in Havensdale all these years. Thinks she’s better than everyone - always did. D-I-V-A. Fake friends only probably. Knows her husband is cheating on her. Will not discuss his love child Lua Harvelle thanks bye. Was compelled by Jess to think they’d sent her away for her bad behaviour but tbh won’t bring her up either.

Mitchell and Lacy Morrison (married, fc; alexis denisof and charisma carpenter) - the Morrison parents! Mitch is an absolute dork with really cool socks who owns ‘Morrison Records’. Honestly just...a soft, nerdy Dad who loves his wife more than anything. Lacy is the Bad GirlTM and always was (definitely in love with this nerd all her life tbh). She’s very cool which makes up for how uncool Mitch is. Remember, non-magical people think Mark woke up from his ‘coma’ recently and magicals know he was brought back from the dead. They deserve a nice night, basically.

Aaron and Marie Fairchild (widowed, deceased) - Charlene’s mom/Rachel’s uncle and aunt. Marie died when Charlene was young and Aaron is always on the road for work. Marie was thee Cool MomTM and very involved. They both would have had a TON of friends until Marie died and Aaron became distant. Needless to say, neither are here tonight.

Lyndsy McArthur and Andrew Moore (re-married - fc; , deceased - fc; jason bateman) - Jenny’s parents! We all know Lyndsy of ‘Lyndsy’s café’. She’s an absolute sweetheart with a right hook to match. Another piller of the community TBH, need I say more? The same goes for Andrew who died when Jenny was little (he was a fireman). These two were high school sweethearts, 100% the cutest couple, probably prom king and queen. Lyndsy’s now married to Derek McArthur if y’all remember!

Felicity Montgomery (married, fc; madchen amick) - #icequeen! In high school though she was a punky rebel with a giant attitude problem. Her and Ethan McArthur were also #that couple - don’t remind her. (x)

Maryse Anderson (married) - Effy & Lana’s mom, god help her. Very judgy, very straight laced and god fearin’ - she’s also super involved with the town’s events etc. Probably causes drama at every PTA meeting. Probably has beef with every other parent in town. BIG SECRET: her husband is in jail.

Larry Manning (married, fc; will smith) - Tyler’s dad. Owner of family pub/restaurant ‘The Silver Fox’ and a town treasure. Basically everyone’s dad, always looking out for you and can fix pretty much anything. He’s a settled down, very chill, married man and father. Was literally THE COOLEST guy in high school though, ask anyone!

Fred Porter (married) - the Porter dad! Can you believe there was an original Greg? ‘Cause Fred was breaking hearts, jaws, his own fists and making 1000 mistakes per minute long before his second son was even a thought. He got his act together! He’s a very hard working dad with good, family values who only wants the best for his family. Is so hard on Greg because he sees so much of himself in him tbh. His wife was 100% his saving grace, he loves her so much.

Mr and Mrs Jennings (married) - Isaiah’s parents! Mr Jennings is a member of one of Havensdale founding families so they’re SUPER involved in the town. They’re very fancy, have a big ole house, love to take trips but are friendly with everyone. They’re only snobby on accident. Mr Jennings is very serious and is waiting for Isaiah to stop his nonsense and join the family business. Mrs Jennings is way funner.

Not *from* Havensdale but live here now!!

William ‘Bill’ Tyler (technically, legally still married, fc; mark ruffalo) - Hailie’s dad. He own’s ‘Bill’s Tech Store’ which is a computer store so he’ll fix your WiFi etc. A grumpy loner type with an absolute heart of gold. Everyone who was around at the time knows his wife Grace Laurel Tyler left him and Hailie years ago (her dramatic return is still lowkey on the D.L right now though). Loves his daughter SO MUCH, is stressed to his eyeballs about her having.......a boyfriend. ▣ Was dating Sarah Palmer before she died (Juliette's mom) and honestly, me and Kayleigh figured this out today and I'm still crying.

Joseph Montgomery (married, fc; matthew mcconaughey) - Mr Montgomery! He’s lived here with Felicity since before Elena was born (22+ years). He’s a business man with political ties and always wears a suit. A big ole charmer that you literally can’t help but like!

Mrs Porter - info to follow on Greg, Simon and Annie’s mom but lbr...she’ll be an angel!!!

Penelope ‘Penny’ Manning (married, fc; salma hayek) - Tyler’s mom. The Mannings moved to Havensdale 17+ years ago! Penny’s a high flyer, works in fashion, always has her hands-free in, slightly aloof and very scary when she’s on the phone dealing with a problem. The BossTM. Absolute goals. Loves her son and doesn’t mean to be so absent. Friends with everyone but she never has time.

Joseph Salvatore (married, fc; jared padalecki) - Joey and Keith’s dad (and maybe more). He’s lived in Havensdale full time aroundabout when Keith was born (ISH). Before this, he was a legit rockstar. He toured, he did the whole sex, drugs, drink and rock ‘n roll thing. Now he’s a real pillar of the community, owns the gym, is very involved with the town - which made the arrival of his Secret Son Joey such a SCANDAL. He’s still recovering.

Charles Harvelle (married, MIA, fc; david tennant) - No one has noticed yet or caused a scene about it but Mr Harvelle is currently missing.... Details will follow, for now his wife just believes he’s on another business trip AKA having an affair with his secretary. A mess at being a father and husband. RIP. Has lived in Havensdale aroundabout 18 yrs with his wife and Jess.

Mr & Mrs Thomson (married) - Tessa’s parents. They’re both hunters who’ve been on the road for most of their lives (saving people, hunting things, the family business). Just a fab couple! A supportive, dorky dad and a badass yet super sweet mom. They’re v likable and have been in town for a fair few months now.

[novkat21]

Promised WIP

I'm a little late, my apologies! But here is the promised WIP I'm working on! It's not the whole thing, but just enough to give you an idea.

As I said in my previous post, it isn't finished and needs some work. If you'd like to read more, let me know and I'll strive to finish it for ya!

Enjoy!

~

Nearly an hour later, he’s just finishing up with fluffing his pillow when a soft knock sounds on his door. He turns right as Derek steps in, glancing around.

“Looks like you made it homey,” he comments.

Stiles hides a grin when he notices Derek puff his chest out slightly. He knows Derek has always wanted to be a good alpha and provide for his pack and, even though it’s just a vacation, he seems pleased that everyone is settling in so well. “Yeah, well, it helped that the bed was already made.”

Derek nods. “I was just about to start grilling. Did you want to help?”

Stiles smiles and nods. “Let me just put my suitcase away. I’ll meet you out back.”

“Let me,” Derek says, surprising him by walking over and grabbing the suitcase, setting it just inside the closet. “Come on.”

They walk downstairs and out onto the back patio that’s large enough to hold two tables lined with chairs, a bench swing and a space just for grilling. Derek leads him over to the grill and turns it on, lifting a lid covering a plate that has a huge stack of beef patties on it. He grabs a set of tongs and starts placing the patties on the heating grate. Stiles unfolds a long table set against the railing and pulls it up by the grill, wiping it down so he can start prepping the food.

Stiles glances down at the beach to see the rest of the pack playing volleyball with the set they brought. He smiles and continues to help Derek, a feeling of content washing over him. A few times, his shoulder or hand brushes against the alpha’s and when he glances at Derek, he sees a small smile tugging on Derek’s lips, too.

They stay in their stations as the food cooks, listening and watching the pack surrounding them. Once the pack joins the rest of them on the patio, the food is finally done. Stiles, Erica, Boyd and Derek carry the platefuls of burgers to the two tables and dig in with the rest of them.

“This is really good,” Stiles tells Derek after lightly elbowing him to get his attention.

Derek shrugs. “It’s just a burger.”

Stiles shakes his head. “You’re never cooking these for my dad.”

They both chuckle as Stiles finishes his burger, gazing out at the setting sun glimmering off the water. He leans back and glances over at the pack. Smiling, he realizes that this is a rare occasion, something he’ll never forget—the pack is all here, together, with no danger threatening them and all getting along. He couldn’t have asked for a better two weeks away from home.

The sky is black and speckled with stars by the time everyone heads back inside. Stiles stays seated on the log he’d placed himself on just after dinner, leaning back and staring up at dark blanket above. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Derek move around the small flame burning in the fire pit and sit down beside him, their arms touching.

“I never knew you could see so many stars out here,” Stiles says softly.

“California holds many surprises,” Derek replies.

Stiles glances over at Derek to see the man already staring at him. “Thanks for letting us stay in your family’s beach house. I’m sure it was hard to come back.”

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Having the pack nearby helped, I think.”

“I’m sure it did. You’ve all grown such great bonds with each other. That and you’ve made peace with your past and gained a new anchor. You’re doing a great job, Derek.”

Derek blinks. “How’d you know I have a new anchor?”

Stiles smiles. “It’s kind of obvious. You’re not nearly as angry as you used to be and you smile more.”

“Do you know when my anchor changed?” Stiles’ smile falls when he notices the intensity in Derek’s gaze and shakes his head. “When I almost lost you to the Nogitsune.” A gasp slips out, his eyes widening. “My control was slipping and I was trying so hard not to panic. The night after it was all over and you were safe back at home, I dreamed about you.”

“Derek…”

Derek leans in closer, eyes flickering to his lips. “You didn’t know?”

“I didn’t. I just knew you had a new anchor. I was so happy for you, you have no idea.”

“I think I do.” Derek closes the space between them, brushing their lips together, giving Stiles the chance to pull away. But he didn’t. Instead, he frames Derek’s face with his hands and kisses him back fervently, almost bruising. Derek rumbles happily, his arms winding around Stiles’ waist and pulling him in close. He licks Stiles’ lips and then slips his tongue inside when Stiles moans, seemingly melting against him.

“We should take this inside,” Stiles whispers after they break apart for air. Derek chuckles, grabbing Stiles’ thighs and holding him up as he stands and walks back up to the house. He nuzzles into Stiles’ neck, pressing soft kisses against the skin. Stiles bares his throat, closing his eyes in pleasure when Derek growls. “My room. It’s closer. Go, go, go.” Derek laughs and rushes them inside, the small flame in the pit dying out behind them.

~

Stiles wakes in Derek’s arms, the werewolf’s body heat keeping him warm. He glances out the window above the bed to find it still dark outside and snuggles closer to Derek, sighing contentedly. Derek’s hold on him tightens slightly, his breath caressing his forehead. Stiles closes his eyes and tries to fall back asleep. But after a few seconds, he suddenly feels parched.

Huffing in irritation that his sleep has been disturbed, he gently pulls away from Derek and gets out of bed. He winces lightly when pain radiates in his backside and lower back as he makes his way to the bathroom. Stopping and leaning against the doorframe, he waits until the pain eases a bit before he wanders to the sink and picks up a small plastic cup from the stack on the counter. He pours some water in it and gulps it down in one swallow. His mouth still felt dry so he guzzles down a few more cups of water.

He sighs, setting the cup down and looks down at the dripping water from the faucet. He licks his lips then turns the water on full force and slurps up as much of the liquid as he can, feeling just as thirsty as when he first noticed it. He stops after about a minute and shuts the water off, wiping the bottom half of his face.

Something wasn’t right.

He turns to go back to bed when he suddenly notices how dry his skin feels. He rubs a hand up and down his arm, glancing down at himself. Inhaling sharply, he sees a few odd spots on his chest and arms, looking far too similar to… scales?

Dread starts setting in as he watches these strange spots grow. Glancing over at Derek, he realizes the wolf is still sound asleep. He takes a step toward the bed when a sharp pain shoots up his legs and they give out.

“Derek,” he cries out as he hits the floor hard, barely catching himself before his head smacks against the hard surface.

“Stiles?” He looks up as Derek frantically gets out of bed and rushes over, crouching down beside him. “Stiles, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, I—” Stiles stops, his blood running cold when he realizes that his words sound different, wrong. By the confused expression on Derek’s face, it seems that he noticed as well. Stiles isn’t speaking in English. His heart starts racing faster, his breathing coming in short pants. Derek pulls him up onto his lap, shushing and rocking him.

Stiles suddenly throws his head back, screaming, as pain he’s never felt before runs up his legs and hips. He grips Derek’s arm tightly with one hand, his throat quickly becoming raw as he yells. He barely hears the door open and the pack rush inside. However, he feels the vibration of Derek growling at them, keeping them away, before the pain becomes all he knows. Tears stream into his hairline as he gasps for breath, his voice practically gone.

It seems to last forever before the pain subsides into a dull throb. But then the feeling of being dry, too dry, comes back, his mouth feeling parched once more.

He slowly lets go of Derek’s arm and feels something wet touch his fingertips. Glancing over, he sees his fingernails have sharpened, blood coating them on the one hand from digging into Derek’s skin. He begins to shake as he notices his hands have become webbed and the scales—blue-green now—cover his arms and torso. He follows them down to where his legs should be, but in their place is the bottom half of a fish, his feet having become a large fin.

He gasps for air, then chokes not a moment later. He puts his hand up to his throat and feels three large slits on each side and looks up at Derek.

The alpha’s eyes are blown wide, taking in Stiles’ new form. They meet each other’s gaze as Stiles tries to take another breath, his lungs beginning to ache. He feels his fin flop frantically, fear sinking back into his bones.